Here it is halfway through January 2013, the new year and I’m just now getting a chance to sit down and write something. Of course every New Year is dotted with the infamous “New Year’s Resolution.” Why should this year be any different? Resolutions vary by individual and circumstance, but really, is it a do over? It is a start over? Is it a clean slate? Perhaps a second chance?
What is a resolution anyway? According to Dictionary.com, a resolution is a conscience decision to change something, to take action. There are the obvious, commercialized resolutions to lose weight, quit smoking, no more mint M&Ms, etc. Change is not easy and on average, it takes at least 21 days to form a new habit.
What if the resolution was to work towards being a better person, better friend, better parent? Let’s think about it . . . what do we have the power to change? I’m a fan of Dr. Phil and try to watch his show every day. He has two phrases that I am fond of, “How’s that working for you,” and “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.” Well, what if this year the resolution was to acknowledge, then change and then hope it works?
I thought about my own New Year’s resolutions.
First is to lose weight, well, duh, that has been my New Years, midyear, back to school, OMG it is almost the holidays resolution. I am happy to say that I have lost 25 pounds in the last 5 months, but it is just not enough. My weight is my burden, my struggle and food, well food plays the roles of therapist and enemy. Ok, acknowledged . . . on to the change (fingers crossed).
Second, to write more. I am sure there are many of us that can commiserate when I say by the time the dishes are done, homework completed and kids are in bed, thinking about anything comprehensive is last on the list. By the time 8pm rolls around I am spent, however, this appears to be the prime time that I have available to do some writing (along with spurts throughout the day). I think of the Nike ad, “Just do it.” Well, it sounds simple enough, I just need to gather the laptop or go old school, pen and paper, and just start writing. I have so many ideas in my head as well as a couple of books already started. What’s the deal? Fatigue, fear of failure and determining why am I doing this. I cannot let writer’s block or lack of sleep or motivation curb my writing. Ok, acknowledged . . . time to get to work.
Third, time to LET IT GO. I say, out of jest, if I had a dime for every person that did not like me or that I angered, I would not be driving a minivan, I’d be rolling in a Cadillac with $500 rims (rollin’ Jersey Old School). 2012 was a rough year for me both personally as well as a mom. I went to bat for my daughter and paid a hefty price, but I’m still here and it is time to let go. I had lunch with a friend who told me that I was awesome, my response to that, I cried, and for those of you that know me, I hate to cry, it messes with my makeup. After the year I had, it was difficult to hear something positive said about me, let alone to me. So then in lieu of thinking about a dime for those who do not like me, how about a dime for those who do like me? Well after we complete the math that would make me the richest woman on this planet. I do not have time nor can I accommodate toxic people. I cannot let others define me, I define me. To quote my favorite Saturday Night Live Skit, “I’m good enough, I’m strong enough, and gosh darn it people like me.” Let it go . . . ok, acknowledged . . .change . . . work in progress, emphasis on progress.
Lastly, what do I stand for? When I think about this aspect of my resolution the song “Some Nights,” by Fun pops into my head, and well, gets stuck there. “But I still wake up, I still see your ghost, Oh, Lord, I’m still not sure what I stand for, oh, What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights I don’t know.” Well, what do I stand for? I look back at all I have accomplished as a mom and as an advocate and there is still room for more. Sure I had setbacks, that comes with life, but setbacks are not road blocks, they cannot and will not stop me. My grandmother use to tell me when a door shuts a window is opened, now go find the window. I stand for what is best for my children. I stand for what is best for any child and to ensure that they are afforded all possible opportunities . . . education, health, success, safety. I know I cannot change the world by myself, but I can assist with the change by being an advocate for who and what I believe in. I may still be trying to find my niche in life but I know, with the support that I have in my corner, I’m on the right track. What do I stand for . . . acknowledged . . . What can I change . . . evolving.
Typically, I end with a quote. This time I’m ending with the Serenity Prayer because I know there are things I can change, I’m working on accepting the many things that I cannot change and we all can use a little wisdom now and again.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
What is your New Year’s Resolution?